S09.E10: Confronting Meri - Page 9 - Sister Wives

For once I’m actually eager to watch the week’s episode, and reading all your insightful posts has made the wait more bearable.  Let’s see how all the angsty puzzle pieces fit together.

Previouslies:

Maddie labored loudly, but Meri arrived during the only silent moment.

“Sparkly” Ysabel has scoliosis.

Meri wants the house, and Kody doesn’t want to pay.

We start at Janelle’s, where Meri is visiting with Maddie and Caleb and holding Axel.  On the couch, Kody is sporting a man-bun and Janelle opines that Axel’s the cutest baby ever.  While Meri bounces him, Robyn voiceovers that she’s bringing Ari and Sol over to meet 11-day-old Axel for the first time because they were sick when he was born.  Well, Kody, Aurora, and Day’un are coming, too, and I see Christine and Gwendlyn in the room.  Uncle Sol holds the baby.  Robyn says that it’s common for generations to be crossing like this in polygamist families, and that Ari is actually closer in age to Axel than to Sol.  That’s the MSWC family planning method in action, folks.  Janelle thinks it’s awesome that their small group of adults created this, “posterity.”  Kody says that seeing Maddie’s pregnancy and now having Axel around the house may be one of the best memories of his entire life.

After some random desert shots we’re at Christine’s and Meri is telling us about her friend Cheryl in Atlanta who wants to come visit.  Flashback to Meri’s visit to Cheryl.  Cheryl was also a victim of Meri’s catfish, Sam.  Meri tells the family that Cheryl would like to come, and says that she knows Cheryl well enough that she’d stay in her house.  Robyn interviews that the catfish saga affected the whole family, and Robyn feels like they’re still dilling with the fallout to this day.  Flashback to Meri glued to her phone and computer in 2015.  Robyn says they didn’t know what was going on with Meri and they worried that she was leaving them.  Meri tells us that Cheryl plans to bring her daughter, and she wonders if the daughter and Mariah can commiserate over their shared experiences.  Meri now considers Cheryl a good friend because not many other people could understand the “emotional abuse” they went through.  Kody asks if they all have to go see Nancy because they’re having a friend come over.  Christine is echoing my thoughts when she responds, “You are so weird.”  Kody interviews that Nancy takes him to task a lot and gives him responsibilities, and he wishes she’d knock it off because he already has four nagging wives.  Janelle thinks it will be interesting to meet Cheryl to see if she’s similar to Meri and what made her susceptible to the catfish.  Christine gets a good-natured dig in when she asks Meri if Cheryl is real, and everyone has a laugh.  Then Robyn comments that Meri and Cheryl are like sister wives and collapses in laughter at her own witticism.  Meri wonders if the wives are able to laugh now because they’re past the catfish incident, or if they’re still trying to work through it.

Shish kabobs are on the grill and Kody tells us that they’re having a big family BBQ because they can.  Well, allrighty then.  Robyn is being awkward as she pointedly says hi to Mitch, who we haven’t seen yet on the show but who is Aspyn’s boyfriend.  Aspyn tells us that they’ve been dating a little over 3 months.  On the couch, Mitch introduces himself.  He was born in Utah and has known the Browns for about 10 years because his family was involved in the same polygamist group, but his parents were not polygamists and neither is he.  (Fellow Aspyn fans, insert the Hallelujah Chorus here.)  He has left the church because he doesn’t agree with them.  Robyn tells us that Mitch also helped the family move when they fled Utah for Las Vegas.  Aspyn admits she had a crush on him back then.  A bedraggled, apron-clad Kody pops up in the kitchen window to jokingly threaten that he knows where Mitch lives.  Tony tells Mitch that Christine is much nicer to Mitch than she was to him.  We move to the backyard and Mariah tells us that she and Audrey have now been together for 5 months.  She has graduated from Westminster and is going to spend the summer working.  Meri interviews that Mariah has always talked about wanting to go to Seattle.  (KEEP OUR NAME OUT YO’ MOUF! *Ahem* Sorry…)  This week they are finally taking the trip.  But, in true Meri fashion, a surprise announcement will be involved.  She’s going to use the trip to ask Mariah to please come meet Cheryl and her daughter when they come to Vegas.  Back at the BBQ, Christine gets everyone’s attention to talk about Ysabel’s scoliosis.  After boot camp, her curve has improved 10 degrees from 45 down to 35.  Kody is still not interested in surgery.  Christine would also prefer Ysabel to continue with activities for “fighting back.”  Ysabel displays her biceps for the group. 

We’re jetting off to Seattle, and don’t worry, I’m taking a chill pill.  Mariah tells us that she’s wanted to go to Seattle for years because she loves rain, mountains, and coffee.  She thinks that the trip is Meri’s way of trying to make things better between them.  As they head to the Great Wheel, Meri says that things between Mariah and Audrey seem to be going well.  Now we’re magically transported from the waterfront to Capitol Hill where Mariah and Audrey enjoy the rainbow crosswalks.  Since Mariah and Audrey live in Salt Lake City, Meri is enjoying this chance to see them together.  Now we’re back at the Great Wheel, and as they ride Meri voiceovers that Mariah was very mad at her when she was going through a very bad time in her life.  Flashback to their awkward post-catfish discussion.  Now Meri says they’re just trying to work on things.  As they head into a restaurant she tells us again that she really wants Mariah to come meet Cheryl and her daughter.  After they’re seated, Mariah suggests that they go to a gay bar in the evening.  Meri’s first excuse is that she’s not gay, but Mariah says that queer spaces are friendly toward everyone.  Meri’s second excuse is that she hardly drinks.  When that also seems to fail, she picks up the plant on the table to try to totally change the subject.  Meri then drops the news that she has a friend coming to visit and she’d love for Mariah to meet her.  Mariah is very quiet when she hears that it’s Cheryl, and Meri tells us that Mariah shuts down whenever anything having to do with that time period comes up.  Meri tells Mariah that Cheryl is an awesome person, and Mariah is sure she is but she’s worried about old feelings coming up.  “That’s how I know she hasn’t dealt with it,” says Meri. 

After the break we’re still at the restaurant (Dahlia Lounge – try the coconut crème pie, ladies!) and Meri is telling Mariah that she thinks meeting Cheryl could be good closure for her.  Mariah replies that she has already moved on and let it go.  Meri repeats her request, and Mariah repeats that she’d love for Meri to come out to a gay bar.  Meri proposes that she’ll go to the gay bar if Mariah meets Cheryl.  Mariah doesn’t look thrilled but says ok.  Meri admits that she’s pushing this on Mariah but it’s a “tough love” situation, and that Mariah has to dill with it.  Back on Capitol Hill, the group heads into Unicorn, the gay bar (Try the Unicorn Balls, ladies!)  Meri tells us that she’s never heard of most of the alcohol on the menu, and she gets a Diet Coke.  She also feels too old to be there.  While they play Skee-Ball in the bar, Meri interviews that she felt like a failure when Mariah came out, both for not seeing it and struggling with it.  She has seen increased peace and calm in Mariah since she came out.  If Meri could go back in time to the coming out and give herself advice, she’d tell herself that it’s not about her, it’s about Mariah.   

Back in Las Vegas, Meri is pulling up solo to Nancy’s for a session with the wives.  She tells us that she was not present when Madison had her baby, but that Janelle, Christine, and Robyn were.  Robyn informs us that they’ve actually visited Nancy a couple times to discuss what happened at Axel’s birth.  She, Christine, and Janelle also arrive alone.  Janelle tells us that she’s trying to be calm and logical, but because the issue involves Madison her “Mama Bear” is uncaged.  Nancy also notes that the group has discussed this issue a number of times and she’s interested in wrapping it up.  To begin, she asks everyone what they’d like to accomplish during the session.  Christine wants Meri to have closure.  Janelle feels like this is a symptom of a larger problem, where the family reaches out to Meri but if things don’t go perfectly Meri shuts down and goes away.  I wish those ugly shoes would go away.  Meri thanks Janelle for her perspective but says that she feels differently.  In the confessional, Christine says, “We’ve only been here for 5 minutes and it’s getting yucky already!”  Janelle continues that it’s not getting through to Meri that they really want her, even though they’re constantly inviting her over.  Meri responds that whenever she’s invited to do stuff she comes.  We flashback to the neverending labor.  Meri responded to a group text from Janelle and came over while everyone was still playing a game in the living room.  When the cameras left, Meri needed to go home to do, “a sale,” and said that Madison probably didn’t want her there anyway.  Madison confirmed everyone would be kicked out when she hit transition.  Robyn says that if Meri had stayed for the game and then moved into the bathroom like she and Christine did, she would have been there for the whole thing.  Back at therapy, Meri says that she didn’t know everyone was in the bedroom.  “Where would we have been, Meri?” asks Janelle.  Another flashback to Madison in Janelle’s bed, and everyone clearing out so she could try to rest.  At that point, Meri came back and sat down with Janelle and Sheryl, and upon hearing that nothing was going on left to go get Mariah and Audrey.  Janelle tells us that after that things really picked up.  Robyn and Christine returned and everyone was called back into the bedroom.  Then Meri returned with Mariah and Audrey, whispered, “They’re probably back there,” but didn’t approach the bedroom.  Janelle tells us that none of this was on her mind while she was with Madison.  Christine says that she didn’t want to risk mentioning Meri to Madison for fear that Madison thought the room was already too crowded and would kick everyone out.  At Nancy’s, Meri feels Janelle is being defensive.

Meri tells Nancy that she feels like she’s over this and that she’s put it behind her, but that she doesn’t think Janelle is over it.  Janelle says that she is but her concern is that it looks like Meri was left out.  Janelle tells us that she’s not at all defensive about this, but frustrated.  Meri informs Nancy that none of the wives have been at the other’s births’, so it was not a big dill to leave when she saw that the bedroom door was shut.  Her nose wasn’t put out of joint until she realized that Christine and Robyn had been present.  Furthermore, after the birth Kody sent a group text saying, “Nobody is to come until we say.”  Meri felt that that was specifically to keep her away.  Robyn says something about that message being for the kids, and Janelle adds that at that point Madison was hemorrhaging and everyone left the room.  Janelle thinks Meri read more into the message because it was from Kody and their relationship is strained.  Meri disagrees.  She adds that she’s not upset with Madison about this at all.  Robyn says it dawned on her that Meri wasn’t present, but she didn’t feel it was her place to reach out.  Meri places the blame on Kody and the sister wives.  Janelle says that it is sad that Meri wasn’t there to share the moment.  Nancy asks the group what happens with empty nest moms in their experience.  Christine says that they can turn into more of a grandmother or matriarch role.  Robyn adds that sometimes they become the cool mom that the remaining kids can do something fun with.  Meri interviews that she hasn’t figured out her role.  Janelle talks about seeing older wives together at church, and Christine notes that the Brown wives haven’t done anything together socially in a long time.  Janelle thinks that lunch dates are superficial, but Christine thinks they’re a good place to start.  She tells us that when she and Kody were having a rough time, they had to plug through these fake events to build a new foundation.  Uhoh, Meri’s fingers are searching for eye boogers.  Apparently the mention of Kody’s name has caused her to break down.  Robyn tells Meri that the rest of them are there for Meri, and that she belongs with the family.  She interviews that Meri has been distant for a couple of years and that she’s sick and tired of Meri not being invested and questioning the other wives’ motives. 

The wives are now heading to lunch.  Christine says they just got out of therapy, but if that’s true then they all ran home to change clothes first.  Meri is going into the lunch without any expectations.  Christine tries to make small talk while Janelle and Robyn attempt to disappear into their menus and Meri stares into space.  Robyn finally throws Christine a bone and shows them all her necklace which is one of her new MSWC pieces.  Christine apologizes to her for not seeing her vision when the business began, and asks if she still needs help.  Meri pops up to sadly tell us that she used to help Robyn closely and they had a well-oiled machine going, but then things changed.  Robyn brings things back to reality and reminds us that Meri left the business because she said she was going back to school.  Robyn felt ditched.  After some more awkward silences and poorly edited shots where the items on the table change continuously, the wives get up to go.

We’re back at Christine’s and she wants to tell Meri something about Axel’s birth that’s more honest than she’s been before.  Neither of them are looking forward to the conversation.  There are Christmas decorations near Christine’s door, so apparently it’s been seven months of dishonesty.  They sit down in the library and Christine opens by saying that she thinks it was awful that Meri wasn’t present for the birth and she never wants it to happen again.  To be honest, however, if she had been in charge she wouldn’t have had Meri come in.  Christine explains that Meri brings a lot of baggage into the room; she doesn’t know if anyone else was thinking that, but she personally doesn’t know how to deal with Meri’s “bristles.”  Meri interviews that she’s shocked that Christine is using “this venue” to bring this up with her.  I think Christine is trying to explain that she wants to get to a place where she would be comfortable inviting Meri to a similar event that she was in charge of.  She continues by talking about the lunch, where she could see that Meri was upset but she didn’t ask what was wrong because she didn’t know what to say or do.  Meri just says, “ok.”

As we flashback to the birth again, Christine reiterates that Meri’s presence can put a damper on things.  Meri tells Christine that what she saw as “upset” at the lunch maybe wasn’t “upset,” so Christine needs to learn Meri’s terminology because Meri needs to protect herself, maybe from the semantics police or something.   Meri interviews that she thinks the family talk about her a lot behind her back, and so she goes into things guarded because she doesn’t know what they’re thinking.   Christine would love it if Meri could come into a room and have it be safe for everybody, and she wants to do whatever she can to make Meri more safe.  Meri doesn’t know, because the conversation is coming off as accusatory to her and she’s putting her wall up.  She says that it’s not worth her time and sanity to dill with because there are other people in her life with whom she’s comfortable and she doesn’t have issues.  Christine realizes that and that’s why she wants things to be improved so that Meri can feel similarly in the family.  Meri says that’s not coming across at all.  Christine tries to rephrase.  Meri responds that she was fine with what happened and she’s not going to let Christine tell her that her feelings were wrong.  Meri interviews that she feels like Christine is holding back and not saying everything, and she doesn’t think the family trusts her.  The conversation goes around again, with Christine not getting an answer about if she can even ask Meri, “How are you?” and Meri feeling judged and guarded by everyone except her best friends.

Oh lord, after the break they’re still talking.  Christine interviews that it’s great that Meri can have fun with her friends and that it’s probably because Meri doesn’t come to her friends with baggage.  Christine asks Meri why she thinks she has judgment from her.  Meri’s answer is because they don’t have any sort of relationship when she sees Christine being open with everyone else.  Christine interviews that she really doesn’t want to spend the energy to break down that wall, but she feels that she probably should.  Meri tells Christine that they haven’t had a good relationship in about 10 years, and she fills like Christine doesn’t want it.  Christine says that she does want it, and she’d love for it to be fun and safe, and that ideally none of them should feel fear and apprehension before a conversation.  Meri is guarded and doesn’t know what to do or say.  Christine declares that she’ll start by asking Meri how she’s doing, and when Meri starts to shoot that down Christine says she just has to start trying and will respect Meri’s wishes if she doesn’t want to talk.  Boy, the Brown Christmas dinner is going to be tense, but I guess we won’t see that on air for a year or two. Before Meri leaves, Christine stops her to give her a hug.  Shifting gears, we’re now at Meri’s and she’s preparing to leave with a file folder containing her offer on the Parowan house.   If her loan is approved, she’s just got to get her down payment together and wait on the paperwork.  The family does not know she’s doing this.  Vickie greets her at the B&B, and becomes emotional about selling when Meri presents her offer.  Vickie is shocked that the family doesn’t know.  Meri explains that she’s waiting ‘til it’s like, done, and like, official, and like, done.  Meri tells us that the home could be hers in 6-8 weeks, and that this is a big dill.  Vickie and Meri sign the paperwork.  Meri insists she has no plans to leave Las Vegas, but that she could see herself living in Parowan if things were different.

And that's all, folks!  Guess we don't see Cheryl until next season.

Next week:  Time for the annual Tell Nothing!             

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